Angry Toilets.

Once upon a time, there was this guy in my biology class who needed help on an assignment (yes, I thought he was really cute and yes he was just planning on copying my answers.) So he was planning on coming over after he got off of work at like 9 or 9:30. So I figured that would give me enough time to clean up and whatever after I finished my lab which usually got out at about 8.

This day, however, I get home at 9.

My bladder. Was about to explode.
So I go running into the bathroom. I was lucky enough to look and see that the toilet was clogged (with toilet paper, by the way). So I go out looking for a plunger and my roommate says

"Our plunger doesn't work very well. Want to go to Walmart and buy one with me?"

Sure.

So as we're coming out of Walmart, this guy calls me and says he just got off of work, and can he come over in about a half an hour?

Sure.

When we got back to our apartment, I hurried in and attempted unclogging the toilet.

No.

Instead of unclogging like any good toilet would do, the toilet starts overflowing and forms a large puddle of toilet water AROUND MY FEET. I'm like screaming for my roommates to get their butts in the bathroom and help me, and one finally says "Turn the toilet off!!"
...I didn't even know this was possible.
So obviously she has to direct me to the little switch on the side that stops the toilet from angrily throwing up its insides.
At this point, I'm standing in a large puddle of toilet water like a flamingo (I had lifted up one foot, cause I guess that just made sense at the time...) and all of my roommates are just staring at me.
I'm finally like "GUYS. GET. ME. TOWELS!!!"
So they finally provide this nice little pathway to the door so that I can call my uncle (who lives in Logan) and figure out what the crap to do.

I had completely forgotten all about biology guy at this point.
And as I'm on the phone with my uncle, biology guy tries to call me.
Thoughts were circling around my head somewhat like Topeka, Kansas in the middle of a tornado.
Meaning.. It was chaos up there.

So after I get off the phone with my uncle, I call biology guy back and I explain things to him and say "So do you want me to just call you when we figure things out and you can come get this then?"
And. He. Says.
"Well, I'm actually already here. I was just calling to find out which apartment's yours. Is that okay?"

Sure.

I book it into my room and find pants that don't have toilet water on them.
Wash my hands.
And right as the doorbell rings, I just look hopelessly over at the pile of towels sitting around my empty toilet bowl that still won't budge.

I still have to pee.

He gets there. I practically throw the assignment at him (at least it felt that way), and tell him that I'm going to go work on my toilet.
I'm in my bathroom with my two roommates and one of them starts quoting kid history:
"This is so dross."
I don't even think, and I say the first thing that comes to mind:
"It's dreen... Why is it dreen??"

Then it occurs to me that I'm talking about a clogged toilet, and that only three out of the four of the people in the apartment know that the toilet is clogged with toilet paper, NOT poop.
The three were myself and my two roommates.
Our walls are paper thin, and the bathroom door was open.
And I said it loud enough for biology guy to have heard from where he was sitting.

Haaaahahaha.

That was the point where I gave up on it. I washed my hands and after biology guy was finished with his homework we went and got hot chocolate. By the time I got back, the manager had already brought over a snake (I know, creepy name right? Let's send a snake down the toilet to fetch out the problem with the pipes...)
So it's probably about 11 or so, right?
Yeah.
I still had to pee.

Welp, there ya go.